Worst of Signs, Pt. 3

Same Day Appointment Sign - Calumet City

I took a picture of the sign above at a dentist’s office in my Calumet City neighborhood. (That’s in Chicago’s south suburbs, if you’re curious.) What’s wrong with this sign? On the surface, nothing. But think about the wording “Same Day Appointments” for a moment. Is this dentist so efficient that he can guarantee to look at your teeth the same day that you call? Or is business so slow that there are always open slots in the schedule?

(To be fair, I’ve never visited this office, so I can only speculate about any specifics about the business and it’s success.)
Speaking of slots, The next sign is a doozy.
Slots Sign - Calumet City
This photo is from a bar, also in my neighborhood.

The bar changed the sign after about a week. Must not have worked as well as they thought…

Either that or the slots really do pay out too much and they started losing more money than they made in drinks…

In which case the lead generation method really was brilliant. The lifetime customer value was just too low or the owners were too short-sighted.

Like the dentist’s office, I’ve never been inside this bar, so I’m speculating again.

A few people told me I took the whole thing too seriously; the sign is probably just a joke. And maybe they’re right. (I could just walk down to the bar and ask the owner.)

But even so, marketers have to be careful; if customers feel misled, they’re not going to be happy.

That’s one of the reasons humor is risky in marketing.

What do you think?

Don’t miss these related posts (with pictures from my neighborhood!):

It Was the Best of Signs, It Was the Worst of Signs

Worst of Signs, Pt.2

Small Restaurant, Big Lesson

Pork Chops and Big Promises


Date Your Leads, Marry Your Customers

In October of 2001, the prettiest girl on my college campus, a popular upperclassman, agreed to go on a date with me, a nerdy freshman.

That following February, she agreed to marry me.

Yes, it was quick and this sort of relationship often crumbles as quickly as it starts. But after 12 years of marriage, I still tell everyone that taking my wife “off the market” was one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made.

The things that made the wooing process so fast and the ensuing relationship so successful work equally well in my approach to attracting leads and winning customers (taking them “off the market”): singularity of focus, clarity of purpose, selfless commitment to providing value, trustworthiness and reliability.

The Dating Game

When I was 19-years old, I was different than most of my peers. I wasn’t in a rush to jump the broom, but I wasn’t interested in casual dating, either. I was going to treat my girlfriend as my potential future wife. Never did I imagine my life would change so rapidly, but the point is clear: if you’re serious about who you date and why, you’ll move towards wedding bells quicker than those who are “playing the field.”

You have to know who you want as potential customers and why. You wouldn’t just date anyone, and you don’t want just anyone as your customer. Who is your target market? What kind of prospect is a good fit for you and your business?

Read the rest of this article in the February issue of Evolution Magazine, (it’s the Guest Editorial on page 9).


(The Beat Goliath System is my prescribed strategy for attracting date-worthy leads and turning them into wife-able customers and clients. Find out more by entering your name and email address in the box to the right. )