I’ve been watching Love is Blind… purely for research purposes.
Whether or not you enjoy this sort of entertainment, you can learn a lot by studying the content people have strong emotional reactions to, positive or negative.
(This is why a Netflix subscription should be tax deductible for marketers.)
We’re going to tackle the show’s most captivating aspect:
How can people fall in love & decide to get married in 10 days or less?
Because we want your should-be customers to fall in love with you enough to give you money… as quickly as possible.
The dynamics at play are FASCINATING — useful for your marketing efforts, too.
I’d like to share 5 actionable insights to make people fall for you fast.
These insights will be valuable for you even ifyou’ve never seen an episode of the show.
Check them out in the following video or read about them below.
Or both.
1. Pick the right folks (or let them select themselves)
One of the biggest reasons Love Is Blind “works” is that the producers have curated people looking for the specific outcome:
They want to find the love of their lives. They’re frustrated with the polluted dating pool and they’re actively looking for a solution.
As a marketing concept, this seems basic. But it’s shocking how often we lose sight of it.
In the first place, make sure your offer is something people have a strong desire for. It should help them achieve a dream they already have… or eliminate a pain point they’re already frustrated about.
You don’t need everyone to buy your product/service. Concentrate on the small percentage of the population that’s actively looking for the transformation you produce.
You could argue the Couples on Love Is Blind don’t really fall in love in mere days. Which is probably true. But they certainly develop strong attachments at warp speed.
And they do so based solely on the words they hear in their conversations.
One of the comments you hear on the show constantly is that cast members feel that their future fiancé knows them better than anyone else in their lives.
They feel understood. The feel seen. (Ironic, right?)
Humans crave that feeling… and we attach ourselves to those who make us feel that way.
You can use your words to have a similar effect in your marketing.
And that’s exactly what you need to do to make your prospects fall in love with your business or offer.
It’s more than just using “power words” or hyping up your product or service. It’s communicating a deep understanding, shared values and painting a vivid picture of the beautiful future that’s possible with you.
There’s another theory I feel like we need to address.
Another reason cast member fall in love so quickly can at least be partially explained by a psychological theory called “object relations.”
To keep it easy-breezy, object relations theory describes how someone can instantly form a deep emotional bond with a new person because the new person reminds them of an important emotional experience or relationship from their past.
Most people are constantly looking to recreate that feeling (even if they don’t consciously think about it) in the present.
Now…
It’s impossible to predict how this will work, especially when marketing to groups of people who each have their own unique pasts.
But what you can get close by going for nostalgia.
When you understand your ideal customer, you can predict certain things from the past they likely have strong feelings about.
Work these into your marketing… and even into you own personal brand.
For example, if you know your best customers loved Axel Foley in the 80’s… see if you can embody some of his characteristics in the way you present yourself.
It’s more powerful than you might think.
Google shared data finding that 75% of GenXers watch YouTube to relive the good ol’ days.
Think about ways you can add nostalgia to your marketing to attract prospects, hold their attention and (hopefully) win their business.
3. Use scarcity to position yourself as “The One”
One of the biggest motivators for cast members on Love Is Blind is that they have limited options… and they know it. There are just 15 men and 15 women in the group – and there’s plenty of potential competition.
Having too many options can prevent you from ever moving forward. You may always be looking for the next best thing.
Scarcity helps you focus.
There’s two ways you can use scarcity to help your ideal customers fall in love with you quickly.
Position yourself in a niche where you have few, if any, competitors. No one else delivers exactly what you do… for the exact people you do it for.
Use real limits in your business. Produce a limited quantity of a product… work with a limited number of clients… put a cap on the number of attendees of an event.
Don’t make up fake scarcity to trick people. Honest scarcity can be a spectacular motivator.
4. Commit to spending “Quality Time”
No matter how fast they fall in love, couples on Love Is Blind have to spend quality time together. The more time, the faster they build the bond.
You don’t really see it on the show, but the reality is that cast members can spend as much time as they like in the pods with the people they want to talk to. They don’t have to cram everything into 60-minute daily sessions or anything like that.
The same thing is true for you as an entrepreneur. Your prospects and customers need to spend time with you. It may be less time than you think, but you can’t expect to maximize your relationship with (and profit from) them with just an occasional text message.
You need to be consistent & frequent in your outreach.
The more “love letters” you send… the more marathon phone conversations… the more moonlit walks on the beach… the faster they can fall in love with you.
If you need help coming up with more ideas about topics to write about for emails and social content, check out Inbox X-Factor.
You’ll get access to weekly content plans (so you’ll ALWAYS have a timely topic to write about), proven subject line templates, video trainings and more.
5. Urgency
The Love Is Blind experiment would fall apart if cast members were given an infinite amount of time to propose marriage.
Cast members know they have a short amount of time – just 10 days – to get what they came for. They have to be decisive & take action to avoid missing out.
Urgency also works in marketing. Set real deadlines. Use (honest) countdown timers.
Let people know they don’t have an eternity to make a choice
Using urgency the right way can help everyone get what they want faster, both in relationships and in marketing.
There you go.
I hope you’ll take time TODAY to think about how you can put these insights into practice in your business.
Because they really can maximize the speed with which prospects become paying customers… the amount of money they’re eager to spend with you…
And the positive impact you’re able to have in their lives.
Your life is about to get a little easier, my friend.
Starting today.
I’m going to remind you about something you may already know…
Then I’ll share a distinction you may have never thought of. One that could seriously simplify your sales and marketing efforts.
Let’s dive in.
As a student of the persuasion game, I’m sure you already know that emotions drive buying decisions.
If you have never heard this before, today’s your lucky day. Because now you know.
If you thought the air-tight logic of your sales argument is what seals your deals, today’s your lucky day. Because now you know better.
(If you feel the need to cling to this theory, check out where you swipe your own credit cards. You’ll see your feelings’ fingerprints all over the receipts.)
Here’s an old video covering this in greater detail, along with 5 specific emotions worth targeting.
The question that naturally comes up is…
How do you create emotion with copy? – especially when your product or service is “boring”?
Which is just one way we make sales and marketing more complicated than it needs to be.
The solution is simple.
Talk about topics your ideal customers are already emotional about. The stronger the emotions, the better.
To make it even simpler, I refer you to Body, Bank and Boo.
Everyone already has strong feelings, positive or negative, about their:
Body (physical, mental and emotional health)
Bank (making or saving money, other work-related stuff)
Boo (love life and other relationships)
They already have:
dreams and desires…
pains and problems…
fears and frustrations…
…about their Body, Bank, and Boo.
Get familiar with your should-be customers. You’ll discover which Body dreams… which Bank problems… which Boo frustrations they have the strongest feelings about. Which they’re most desperate to address.
See how that works?
You don’t have to be very creative. You don’t have to be a Donnie Bryant-level copywriter. And you don’t have to resort to overhype or dishonesty to get your prospects in the buying mood.
We have a tendency to make copywriting (and persuasion in general) more complicated than it needs to be.
A lot of the blame can be placed on the countless “experts” who make it seem complicated…
I fear I’ve fallen into that category at times.
Today, we’re going to simplify things.
At it’s core, copywriting is helping someone make a decision that will improve his life in a specific way.
Humans make most of their decisions — not counting habitual “autopilot” programs we run for so many parts of our lives — based on emotion.
You already knew that.
One of the most effective ways to make another human feel emotion is to feel it yourself.
Emotions are contagious like a virus — and symptoms start showing up FAST.
When you sit down to write, start out by feeling the feeling you want you reader to experience.
Excitement… Fear… Hope…
Let those feelings bleed into your copy.
You already do this in face-to-face conversation — and even more so when it’s someone you care about.
Your emotions are transferred to the audience to some extent.
And when he’s feeling the way you feel, you have the opportunity to lead him where he needs to go to improve his life in the specific way only you can deliver.
Make sense?
Have a heart-to-heart conversation (through your copy) with your readers this week.
Thomas “owned” an Amway-style multilevel business. When he first started out, he did what every MLMer does: invited his family and friends to his presentations so he could show them the biz.
And the family and friends found reasons to turn down those invitations.
But Thomas pushed ahead. Within a few years, he was one of his company’s top producers — and he won a Carnival cruise trip as his reward.
So Thomas decided to have a bon voyage bash dockside to celebrate. Free food and drinks for all!
He invited his “downline,” peers, and of course, his family and friends. No one turned down this invitation.
After a fun afternoon of mixing and mingling, Thomas headed up the steps to get on the ship.
Turned around for his final wave goodbye…
He used a few less fingers than usual…You see where I’m going with this story, right?
Most, if not all, of us have been underestimated, mistreated or downright screwed over by someone. Or at least we feel like we have.
There are times in our lives when then we’d love to rub their noses in our victories…
… and flip them bird when we’re done showing them how wrong they were.
It’s a powerful feeling basically everyone has experienced by the time they’re past adolescence (and probably plenty of times since).
And, yes, that feeling can overpower logic, hijack the decision-making process and drive people into action.
I’m 100% convinced the election of President Trump was driven, in part, by that feeling of revenge.
Millions of Americans gave the middle finger to [select enemy of choice] by voting for The Donald.
Millions of Hillary voters lined up at the polls for the same reason.
This works in copy, too. More than most copywriters and marketers realize.
The reasons why are obvious in politics, right?
But revenge and “I’ll-show-them” emotions work for health products… because looking better than the meangirl homecoming queen at your 20-year class reunion would feel really good…
Money-making products… so you can finally show your father-in-law that his daughter didn’t make a mistake when she married you (this one maaay be a little autobiographical)…
Even music lessons… because they may laugh when you sit at the piano, but when you start to play…
You can do the same thing in your copy, on pretty much any product or service.
Remind your potential buyers about those [select enemy of choice] who they’ve ALREADY been flipping off in their minds for years…
Then show them how you can help them prove their under-estimators and screwers-over wrong.
Help them imagine how good it will feel to stand on the edge of a cruise ship and give the one-finger salute to their haters.
Sometimes you can come right out and say it. Sometimes you’ll have to be more subtle.
The better you understand your audience, the better sense you’ll have about how to approach this in your own business.
Have a productive day!
P.S. Strong copy should help leverage the thoughts and feelings that are already rolling around in your prospect’s head… and help him realize it’s time to take action in his own best interest.
Sometimes revenge is the feeling that will take him there.
P.P.S. Do you feel hesitant to bring out the emotional big gun of revenge in your copy? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Allow me to summarize the Belief-Based USP report, for which this report is the natural counterpart:
Your selling proposition will be most powerful when it 1) aligns with a deeply-held and strongly-felt belief your ideal client holds and 2) offers something that he wants to believe is possible, and believes he can attain – with the right assistance.
The same way that the USP isn’t about being primarily about being unique, a belief-based USP isn’t focused on being believable, although it needs to be credible. Rather, it’s focused on matching existing beliefs and attaching itself to them.
Example: Many people believe Wall Street insiders know secrets the average investor doesn’t. Companies that sell financial newsletters bank on that belief – literally.
“Doomsday Preppers” believe disaster is right around the corner, and they can’t trust the government, their neighbors, etc. But they do trust their preferred source of information. (This is a booming industry, in case you didn’t know.)
Steve Jobs believed alternative treatments were superior to traditional Western medicine for fighting pancreatic tumors.
We believe police officers are hate-filled racist bullies…or everyday heroes.
Belief is human nature. Your beliefs determine your actions, including your buying decisions and “brand loyalty.”
“If you are not reminding your prospective customers of the existent foundation of an accepted fact that supports your proposition, you are missing out on something important.” ~ Chip Kessler
The Flip Side of the Belief Coin
You USP has to both inflame the desire to believe AND the willingness to suspend disbelief as necessary.
Consider this. Whenever you step into a movie theater or turn on Netflix, you engage in a subtle volitional activity: you flick off the unbelief switch in your brain — or at least put it in standby mode. You know you’re watching a movie…you know parts of the plot are totally unrealistic…but for the sake of enjoying the story, you accept what you see as truth.
Sales, marketing and copywriting experts often repeat the idea that people make decisions emotionally, then justify their emotional choices with their rational minds. And that’s true.
Let’s take it one step further.
If your USP generates a strong enough desire, if it hits the right emotional sweet spot, your ideal customer will, of necessity, explain away any disbelief.
I’m told that a surprisingly high number of medical doctors purchase “male enhancement” pills. A good story about a scientific breakthrough or the discovery of ancient herbal formulas mixed with some testimonials overpower 6+ years of higher education.
“The strongest appeal you can make is emotionally. If you can get their emotions going, make them forget their logic, you’ve got them. AT MTV, WE DON’T SHOOT FOR THE 14-YEAR OLDS, WE OWN THEM.” ~ Bob Pittman, “MTV is Rock Around the Clock.” Philadelphia Inquirer, Nov. 3, 1982
Your USP has to strike at the emotional heart of the hearer/reader and create a vision in his mind. For a moment, he has to dissociate from the “real world” and see himself enjoying the benefits he’ll receive after buying from you.
Self-Sabotage
If you’ve ever tried to sell anything, especially belly-to-belly, you’ve seen it happen. Your prospect obviously sees the value in what you’re selling. It’s clearly the solution to his problem. But something is holding him back from saying “yes.”
So you explain your risk-free guarantee. He STILL can’t get past the obstacle.
What’s the problem?
People get in their own way. They often prevent themselves from doing what’s in their own best interests:
They don’t believe they can really accomplish the long-awaited goal. Maybe their peers, but not them
They become addicted to their identity as a non-attainer – they like being “starving artist,” failed inventor, or mediocre performer. People sabotage themselves ALL THE TIME. They want to succeed, but not more than they want to keep doing the same things that guarantee they won’t succeed
They’re scared of what it would mean to succeed (i.e. CHANGE)
They’re worried about what their spouse or their friends will think about them
The topic you’re talking about isn’t a priority for them, even though it should be
Etc…
How do you get people to suspend these limiting (dis)beliefs?
Instead of head-on argument, give them raw material to come to draw their own conclusion in your favor.
“Without a doubt, we are more committed to what we conclude than what we are told. If we come to believe something is false, virtually nothing will convince us it is true. If we come to believe something is true, virtually nothing will convince us it is false.” ~ Blair Warren
1) Be the kind of character people WANT to believe in and trust. This is rarely done by coming up with a catchy catchphrase. It takes demonstration, consistency and clarity of message.
2) Stack the value – and don’t leave out the cost of inaction.
Let me use an example from my world. John Carlton touts himself as “the most ripped-off and respected copywriter on the planet.” And he probably is. You wouldn’t take that at face value, but after reading his stuff, listening to him and seeing how many other people esteem him, you’ll come to the conclusion that he’s legit.
If you’re looking for a copywriting mentor, he’s right at the top of the list. If you COULD hire him, the value is clear. If you’re thinking about hiring someone else, it is implied that such a decision will cost you unspeakable sums in lost profit.
Believe me, Carlton’s public persona is no accident.
Think about a simpler proposition: the George Foreman Grill. The value stack is making delicious food quickly and easily with less fat than other cooking methods. The cost of inaction? Rubbery burgers swimming in pools of liquid cow fat on your dinner table.
3) Exude confidence, both personally and in your messaging. Make big enough, bold enough promises to ignite desire. Draw a specific picture in the mind of your should-be customer, one he can see himself participating in.
4) Offer undeniable proof to alleviate fear and justify their desires with logically.
It should go without saying that a proposition MUST be believable if it’s going to work. Proof elements (testimonials, scientific or clinical evidence and demonstrations) help clear away doubt. People don’t buy when they don’t trust.
5) Make it easy to take the first step.
6) Dig in for the long haul. In many cases, the first exposure may not do the trick. The more a person is exposed to an idea, the more likely he is to believe it (look up the illusory truth effect and mere-exposure theory).
To Conclude
In a movie theater, people voluntarily hit the pause button on their disbelief and skepticism.
In business, that is not your customer’s job. It’s your job to make it desirable and easy to suspend their doubts.
Helping your should-be customers get out of their own way and believe your USP is a two-fold duty: inspire desire and earn trust.
Easy for me to say, right? Of course it is. But I also help my clients achieve this goal in their own marketing efforts.
“Belief is today’s most overlooked yet most powerful key to boosting… Harness it and you unleash the core atomic power for exploding response. Becausethe hunger for belief is so vast in every market, so deep-seated in human nature itself, you can tap into it again and again—infinitely—to make yourself and your clients rich.” ~ Gary Bencivenga
In The Art of Planting Ideas, we talked about how the prefrontal cortex (PFC) of the human brain goes dormant while watching movies on the big screen, television shows and sometimes even marketing videos.
Understanding people, how they think and why they do what they do is the foundation of marketing. Knowing why certain tactics and triggers work makes you much more effective at applying the what and how of selling and marketing.
Why does the relative inactivity of the PFC even matter? Don’t people always buy based on emotion? Isn’t the goal to sell to the “lizard brain” anyway? First, let me say that I find the term “lizard” or “reptilian brain” ridiculous (although the phrase itself is both visual and visceral, making it a great use of language). This part of the brain – the limbic system – is not some genetic hand-me-down of an evolutionary process. (In fact, the “three-brain theory” has been largely rejected by modern neuroscience. Most marketing educators are clinging to old, invalidated information.) I find that the radical self-interest of the human race can be traced back to choices Adam made back in Eden. The more I learn about psychology and neurology, the more clearly I can explain why marketing works from a Biblical perspective. (Maybe we’ll talk about that another time.)
I prefer the term “old brain” instead of “lizard brain“?
Back to the point…
The desires that drive our decision-making, including purchasing decisions, do come from the old brain. They’re more emotional than intellectual. That’s why we focus on appealing to the emotions in sales and marketing.
But the prefrontal cortex is still in control of the executive function, i.e. the ability to guide thought and action in accordance with internal goals. We aren’t lizards! Desires still have to make it past the PFC, which processes the logical outcomes of acting on that desire. This is the reason why “reason why” advertising works. Marketers have to provide the necessary ammunition to rationalize the purchase. Check out Simon Sinek’s 2009 TEDx presentation explaining why “why” matters. (I don’t agree with all of his conclusions, but it’s still worth watching.)
Ultimately, desires are rooted deeper than logic and rationality, but the PFC almost always has the final authority.
Have you ever wanted to punch someone right in the mouth? Have you seen yourself do it in your mind’s eye? Most of us have. But most of us don’t act on that desire. That’s the executive function at work, overriding emotion.
That means you sell to the emotions, but you can’t neglect the intellect in the process.
So, is the PFC-paralyzing power of video good or bad? It is inherently neutral. It can be used for evil purposes, e.g. the Nazi propaganda film “The Triumph of the Will.” It can also be used for good. In either case, it’s effective.
A good story can have a similar effect on the brain. When you’re engrossed in narrative, the brain makes its own mental movie to watch the story unfold. Robert Collier said it well: “The mind thinks in pictures, you know. One good illustration is worth a thousand words. But one clear picture built up in the reader’s mind by your words is worth a thousand drawings, for the reader colors that picture with his own imagination, which is more potent than all the brushes of all the world’s artists.”
